


Kai's Suicidal Thoughts

by WritingAngelMarie



Category: Bakuten Shoot Beyblade
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Canon Compliant, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-19
Updated: 2020-10-19
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:48:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27092302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WritingAngelMarie/pseuds/WritingAngelMarie
Summary: As the ice breaks, Kai questions whether or not he deserves to let his friends save him.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 4





	Kai's Suicidal Thoughts

**Author's Note:**

> I rewatched the scene where Kai almost falls through the ice in episode 45. I probably thought of it as Kai being suicidal the first time I watched it, but maybe I thought I was reading too much into it. After showing the scene to my boyfriend who instantly interpreted it that way, I feel like my view of the scene is more solidified now. So here’s my little ficlet expanding on Kai’s thoughts during that scene.

Kai broke out in a cold sweat. His legs sunk into the freezing water, as the Bladebreakers called to him. He froze for a moment, reluctant to return to those people whom he just now realized were true friends all along. He didn’t need power to be happy. He needed  _ them.  _ But…

_ I can’t go back to them,  _ Kai thought to himself in a panic.  _ I’ve done so many terrible things. I’ve betrayed them and hurt them. I don’t deserve to be part of their team. I should just let myself drown. _

He was instinctively drawn to the darkness. Even since he was a child, he yearned for power above all else, to fill the void that was left from his lack of familial affection. Without power, he felt inferior and insignificant. He’s always been like this. It was an  _ addiction.  _ This wasn’t the first time it caused him to do something bad, and he knew for a fact it wouldn’t be the last. It was in his nature.

“I don’t know if I can change.”  _ I’ll just hurt them again. I should just stay here in the ice where I can’t burn them. True friends like them don’t deserve me. I should just... _

He could feel the ice sting as it went further up his legs. It was up to his knees now. His feet had gone numb. He didn’t have long. He tried to close his eyes and accept his impending death…

But he was afraid. He didn’t want to die. Something in the back of his mind realized that this was the truth.

“Take my hand, Kai!” Tyson yelled out to him as he snapped back to reality. “We don’t care about your past!”

“We’re a team, Kai!” Ray said.

“We’ve always been here for you,” Kenny added.

“And we always will be!” Max promised.

“We  _ need  _ you, Kai!” Tyson confirms, as he reaches further out. “Now take my hand!”

Kai shed a single tear as he swallowed his pride and decided to let them save him. Despite his betrayal… despite how awful he’s been to them in general… They still care about him and want him around. He reaches out and takes Tyson’s hand.

Tyson pulls hard, but he doesn’t budge.

“It’s no use,” Kai realizes. “I’m already frozen into the ice.”  _ Was I meant to die here after all? _

“Nonsense,” Max says, as he grabs Kai’s hand as well.

“We’re a team,” Ray proclaims, as he grabs on as well. 

“We won’t let you down,” Kenny adds with a smile as he joins in.

Together, they pull and pull until the ice breaks and Kai comes flying onto solid ground.

With Kai safe and sound, they all catch their breath and get back up on their feet. Kai looks back at the ice water where he once stood.  _ I can’t believe I was so close to dying. _

He breathes a sigh of relief… happy to be alive and with his friends.


End file.
